Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Make it rain

Tonight against the Rockies Pablo Sandoval became only the second player this season to hit for the cycle (a home run, triple, a double and a single all in one game). This is very great news. For starters, it gives Giants fan something to cheer for since this season has been, for the most part,  incredibly depressing. Also, it couldn’t happen to a greater guy. I love most of our players but this guy is just adorable. Look at him. LOOK. He has so much damn fun it’s almost unbearable. speaking of bears, he also has what will go down as one of the most original and funny nicknames in sports history (the kung fu panda).

Most importantly though, he is a big guy. A big guy doing stuff skinny people tell him he can’t do. On behalf of myself, Pablo Sandoval, and large gentleman the world over, I sincerely mean it when I say: fuck you skinny people. We could do anything you can do better. And look a hellofa lot jollier in the process.

Suck it.

so, world, I love sports. Sorry. I probably have no followers that care about this but I’m going to write it anyways because I’m kind of drunk and watching the giants game and need to talk to someone about what I am watching right now. The giants fans in the bleachers, probably my favorite collection of people ever, are heckling the center fielder of the Milwaukee Brewers, Nyjer Morgan. This is something they always do, regardless of who is standing in the outfield. The appropriate response of an opposing player should be to ignore the loud mouthed fans and respect the fact that you are in their house. And while you are enjoying your stay at AT&T park, this is something that you need to tolerate. Nyjer Morgan is not doing so. He is making very cocky and douchy gestures towards the fans every time he catches a routine fly ball. There are 2 serious issues with this. First: we already hate the Brewers based on the douchery of Prince Fielder alone, dont make it worse fuck head. Second, and more importantly, the fans are the one paying you MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR salary for being an EXTREMELY mediocre center fielder that only has a job because he is obscenely fast. Know your fucking role Nyjer Morgan. And quit having such a border line racist name for a black guy. fuck.