Welcome to the very second episode of Jesse McGrath is Smarter than Art
(Various alternate titles included: Jesse McGrath ≥ Art, Jesse McGrath’s Electric Art Parade, Jesse McGrath is out of original ideas, Jesse McGrath Puts Art to Bed, and Art: Boil it, Mash it, Stick it in a Stew)
Here I am again with another art review from someone who knows a thing or two about looking at shit and then saying things about it. On today’s menu: Genderless Tentacle Statue
Title: Untitled (Otherwise known as: Genderless Tentacle Statue)
At First Glance: Yuck.
Where is it: The top of San Francisco State campus in-between the HSS and business buildings, the two least interesting buildings on the face of the earth.
What is it: Well it’s no Butthole Rock, I’ll tell you that much. (see episode 1)
Review: So at San Francisco State there is this pleasant little courtyard nestled in-between two buildings with lots of benches and big shady trees. You can sit and enjoy a nice brunch, watch all of the business majors pretend to actually give a shit about their education, or just relax and soak up some overcast. Those are things you could do, if you weren’t too busy being mesmerized by the androgynous statue creature emerging from its ominous tentacle forest. The most baffling thing about this statue is deciding what to hate about it the most. The weird unspecific groin bulge almost makes you overlook the creepy smile, overly toned abs, and complete lack of lower limbs, almost. The only way that this is acceptable to look at for me is if I picture it as a man that lost his lower limbs and penis in a terrible lower limbs and penis accident and had them replaced with a rocket pack, the bed of kelp they placed him in is all of the awesome fire and smoke billowing around him during takeoff. This is probably not the case. The more likely scenario is that this artist is in a long line of San Francisco State artists that start something and quickly realize that what they are making is not worth the effort, so they give up. They throw it in a landfill and SF State promptly comes by in the night and steals it from the garbage heap to add to sections of their campus that have not yet been spoiled by an ass hole piece art. In conclusion, if people are asking “is this an amputee robot or a transvestite mermaid?” something in your creative process has gone rotten.
Why I am smarter than it: Everyone knows that penis size is directly related to brain size. Spoiler alert: My penis is bigger than a one inch yucky blob of gender confusion. Plus, this thing doesn’t even have legs, how smart could it be?
That’s a wrap. Bring your umbrellas next time cuz im bouts to make it rain art knowledge all over yo shit.