Welcome to the very first episode of Jesse McGrath is Smarter than Art
(Various alternate titles included: Jesse McGrath Farts on Art, Art is totally like lolz, Jesse McGrath Shows Art Who’s Boss, Jesse McGrath: Ruler of Art, Jesse McGrath Rubs his Nuts on Art, More like Fart, and Hey Art, Shut the Hell Up Already)
In this series I will review and attempt to explain various pieces of art found around San Francisco. I will start by working my way through the Art of San Francisco State University. Fun Fact: Every single college campus in the world has at least one piece of bullshit art. I have been to every single one and seen them all so just trust me on this one. San Francisco State just so happens to be the capitol of all college campus bullshit art. Everywhere you turn is a big hunk of shit breathing right in your face. So without further delay…Butt Hole Rock!
Title: Untitled (Otherwise known as: That one rock that totally looks like a Fucking Butthole)
At first glance: Soooooo that’s a butt hole.
Where is it: Hidden behind the Science building at San Francisco State. Where it belongs.
What is it: It’s a boulder with an anus polished right into the middle of it. Right there. A big ol’ turd slide.
Review: I don’t really even know what to say about this. I would never call something like this “art” but I took an art class and we walked to this and my teacher said the words “this is art,” so that just about settles it. I just wonder whether or not the “artist” knows what he did. There is no way he made this and thought, yeah, this looks good, totally not like a huge stone butt hole. It looks like someone started to make something real, got tired of doing that, and decided to leave it as is, and then San Francisco State was like: “Let’s keep it, it’s like looking in a mirror.”
Arguably the worst part about all of this is that if this were a real butt hole, all of the poop would just come out and curl back onto the butt cheeks. Because, you know, pooping whilst pointing your ass straight in the air is like, a really weird and difficult thing to do. Take it from an expert.
Why I am smarter than it: For starters it’s a rock. For Seconders it’s a butt hole. I pride myself on being smarter than not one, but both of those things.
Tune in next time for some more intellectual art review from someone who knows his shit.
P.S. Did I mention that this thing is a butt hole? Totally is.
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