“Standing in the red corner! At 5’6” and 112 Lbs hailing from San Francisco’s own hunters point, she works at the mall and is a self proclaimed diva, TEERREESSSAAAAAAA JOOOHNNNSSOONNNNNN!” No cheers or boos followed, the crowd was silent. “Standing in the blue corner! At 5’8” and 245 Lbs from the Ingleside district, shes a woman of god on Sundays, but a fighter every other day of the week, its the girl you all love to hate: TAAAAMMMMYYYYYY JOOOONNNNNEEEEES!” Silence again, after such an introduction one would think that some arousal from the crowd would be in order, but they sat staring forward. “And now the person you have all been waiting for, a woman who needs no introduction, the self proclaimed bringer of justice, your hero and my idol, its JJJJJUUUDDDGGEEEE JAMISSSOOOONNNNNN!!”
“All rise for the honorable Judge Jamison” said the man with the gun. The crowd and fighters rose, most with hands clasped in front of their bodies in respect. The “Judge” came up and laid out the usual rules to the fighters which she addressed as “plaintiff” and “defendant”. Then Tammy Jones in the “plaintiff” corner spoke.
“OK judge so this is what happened. This bitch is a home wrecker!” The judge-ref stopped her there and told her to check her conduct. “Of course, my apologies your most honorables but you know I am just so mad at this girl she is tearing apart my family. She was running around with my man for a while and he didn’t know no better so I forgive him and all but now my baby, the baby I had with my man. Thinks that JESIBEL is his mamma! He stay over there and calls her mommy and she wont let him come home.” Defendant Terry Johnson jumped in.
“Uhuh bitch please why would I want to keep something that came out of you! If he don’t want to come home its cuz his mamas a ho and his daddy aint worth a GOD DAMN THING!” This was the most excited the crowd had been all day, murmurs waved throughout. Ref Jamison interjected to keep the blows above the belt. She then declared the round to be over and said we would return to the fight after a quick word from her sponsors.
After learning a little about Hield online college and the career opportunities they hold, the fight was back in full swing. It was Tammy’s turn again, this time through tears. Terry had landed a blow and the time in the corner didn’t do much for Tammy.
“Judge you know I wouldn’t lie to you about this. She got my baby in her house and that aint right! just aint right!” she knew time was running out and she needed to land a good shot to win over the judge and the crowd. “JUST CUZ YOU A MOTHER FUCKER DONT MEAN YOU A GOOD MOTHER!” A crushing hay maker landed. Blood had been drawn but Terry would absorb the blow and counter like the champ she was, living up to her given title “defendant”.Terry intended on ending this once and for all, before the ref judge could step in she fired:
“ OH UHUH! What you NEED to do is take some of the fake ass weave you got on your head and use it to dry your tears cuz you aint seeing shit straight honey. If you was smart as you like to think you is you would know your man still come around me. He AND your baby like me better than you!” The crowd exploded into shouting and discontent for the illegal shot dealt to Tammy. The dirtiest fight we’ve seen in ages and that’s the blow that ended it. These two juggernauts would surely meet again, but the judge was banging her gavel-bell to signify the end of the fight.
After a quick break that included a 30 second educational lecture on the importance of shamWOW! Judge Jamison stood holding the wrist of each fighter. Although Tammy the plaintiff had taken more damage and clearly been out matched, Terry was disqualified for misconduct and Tammy’s hand was raised in victory. She had won by default. She knew it wasn’t the best way to go about it but in this game, a wins a win. After all was said and done Terry was ordered to pay Tammy 326 dollars in emotional damage and legal fee’s. Tammy was asked in a post fight interview what would she do about her husband and child going behind her back? She responded “I DONT NEED NO BROKE ASS MAN OR HEATHEN ASS LITTLE KIDS I JUST WON 326 DOLLARS!!!!!!”